Someone asked me the other day if I kept a diary, and my answer was the usual: I have a blog that I seldom update; I only do it when I’m inspired to write something; I use it to upload the songs I composed and recorded. I find it meaningless to pen down my thoughts.

And then I said something else: I don’t see a point in writing out my thoughts; I simply run through them in my head.

But I realized that in recent times I have less luxury of time to simply sit and think through the things that are on my mind. I’m constantly on the move, or at least busy with something else. I seem to be really preoccupied with things, but I don’t see anything done, at least nothing physical to show for. So where did my time go? Here’s a list of the things that I do (I tried to be honest I promise):

1) Sleep – Well we all do this don’t we? I average about 5-6 hours daily.
2) Shower/Toilet time/Preparing to head out – 45 minutes in total. This includes 2 showers, 1-2 ‘big ones’, and doing my hair.
3) Travelling – Average of 2-3 hours daily.
4) Meals – Average of 1 hour a day in total for all 3 meals.
5) Reading of academia – Quite a lot of time spent on this.
6) Randomly surfing the Net – Slightly lesser than reading of academia, which means a lot of time spent on this as well.
7) Watching shows – Average of 2 hours a day.
8) Praying and reading the Bible – I have to admit I’m doing much lesser of them these days, way lesser than Items 5, 6, and 7 individually.
9) Meeting up with people – Sometimes; ranging from 2 hours to as long as 3-4 hours per meet up maybe?
10) Playing the guitar – I do this on and off, and it could stretch to 1-2 hours each time.

Hmm.. Judging from the list of things that I do, I’m actually spending most of my time on things that do not necessarily result in any meaningful outcomes. At least reading of academia leads to work done in the form of essays and presentations. Surfing the Net and watching shows almost amount to nothing, if you consider doing video covers as meaningless activity. Maybe that’s why I have been feeling a little unaccomplished these days, and just a little dissatisfied with life as it is. I’ve been spending too little time with the one who matters the most – God. Instead, I have substituted that time for temporal and not entirely rewarding forms of recreation – surfing the Net and watching shows on my laptop. I guess it’s time for a change then. Practical steps would be:

1) Cutting down on watching shows on my laptop to a maximum of 1 hour a day.
2) Switching to doing something more meaningful immediately when I catch myself starting to serve the Net at random. (Concession – maximum of 1 hour a day for random surfing. I don’t exactly know how I’m going to monitor this but I suppose I will come up with a way. Maybe a stop clock or something, like those chess players.)

Alright, I think I’m done here for this post. So writing my thoughts down actually do help. I take back my words.

Until next time…


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Love me…

Love me for who I am,
Or don’t love me at all.
Hate me if it’s you I scam,
But don’t hate me for my squals.

Just a random poem in the random hours of the night.

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Just The Lovin’ Feelin’

How many nights, have you lay down all alone?
Looking out of the window, at the stars that twinkled and shone.

How many days, did you walk this path alone?
Looking around at the people, hand in hand with faces aglowed.

Oh, how long has it been since you held a girl in your arms?
How long has it been since you looked in her eyes, saying your love won’t die?

Do you love her, for who she is, or was it just the loving feeling?
Do you care if she cries, with the tears in her eyes, or was it just for your own feeling?

Lyrics for the new song. Just a random inspiration that came into my mind so I decided to record it. =)

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I still remember that day.

I remember that day,
Long ago,
Yet not so far away.
I remember that look,
So close,
But further than it should.
I remember those words,
So strong,
Yet from a feeble heart.
I remember those tears,
So warm,
But beneath runs cold blood.

I remember my decision,
I remember my stand,
That as long as I’m around,
I will be the man.
I will take his place,
I will answer the call,
Regardless the trials,
I will stand tall.
I will not run away,
I will not choose to hide,
I remember making this promise,
On the day he chose to die.

I still remember that day.

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The Bro Code.

Yes, so I bought it and read it in 30mins.
No, I don’t think I will live up to it cos as interesting as it seems, the basis for its existence is simply absurd.
But, it was still a hilarious read.
Yet, the fact that the actor is gay just makes it all the more absurd.
However, it was still fun.
No, it won’t change your mindset one bit.
Yes, you may borrow it from me.

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David’s cry in the Desert of Judah.

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I see you;

my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.

Because you love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

What an awesome cry from David that reflects my heart’s cry as well.

“O Lord, my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you.”

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The Wednesday Letters

I bought this book recently, on impulse as I walked into MPH and it caught my eye. I’ve always had a thing for letters. I love reading long letters and I enjoy writing them as well. It was a beautiful story, although the ending was rather open-ended. But it made me think, maybe I should get back to my letter writing habit.

Hmm.. Who to write to..?

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